VINCE'S MOVIE REVIEWS |
Ben Affleck is...Bartleby and Matt Damon...is Loki. These two guys are ex-angels who have been barred
from Heaven and the presence of God. Loke was the Angel of Death. You know the angel that carried out
God's punishments on his people. Yup he was responsible for the Passover massacre. Bartley was the
angel that talked Loki out of killing people for God. God of the Old Testament was not a very forgiving
god so he booted them out of Heaven and banned them to Earth where they are immortal and become
like humans except they have no sex organs after all what do angels need with sex organs. They do have
their wings when they want them. Now they have finally found a way back into Heaven. They will do
anything to get back into Heaven...even kill anyone who stands in their way.
Now Jay and Silent Bob...well these guys are the Prophets. Their job though unknown to them is to help
Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) a woman drafted into the battle to keep the two renegade angels from entering
a special church. Their unwitting wisdom and knack for battle are to help Bethany survive the trip to New
Jersey. Jay and Silent Bob, the mischievous mallrats, give us much of the hilarious humour in the film.
Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) is a disheartened woman drafted into battle by Metatron (Alan Rickman).
Bethany thinks it is all a dream until she is threatened by three young hockey stick welding boys called
the Stygian Triplets who work for the demon Azrael (Jason Lee). She is saved by the prophets Jay and
Silent Bob who decide to take her to new Jersey.Along the way on a roadside the ground is shattered by a falling figure from the sky. Staring up at them is Rufus (Chris Rock), the 13th apostle. The guy we never hear about because he is a brother. He has come to help Bethany keep the two angels from entering the church and restoring their souls. Restoring ones soul by entering a new church is part of the Catholic Dogma. Once this happens all their sins are forgiven and one will enter Heaven. Unfortunately if the two angels succeed they will go against God's will and thusly all his wwork would be undone and creation would come to an end. okay are you still with me here.
See these two angels?? They are The Voice called Metatron (Alan Rickman) and Serendipity, the Muse
(Salma Hayek). They are both here to help Bethany as well and protect her from Azrael, the demon. Azrael
was an angel who sat on the fence when the angels warred for Heaven. God sent him down because he
did not take a stance. Azrael is trying to stop the Bethany so that the two angels will bring about the end
of creation, because non-existance is better than Hell.
We first meet Serendipity in a strip bar doing her act. She likes to show off and prove her power over men.
One thing about these angels, since they have no genitialia they like to swear a lot which I guess is the
way for Kevin Smith to say that words man nothing really; only your actions mean something.The Voice of God, Metatron is the one who actually speaks for God at those rare occassions when God has spoken to men. See God can't speak because unless you're an angel hearing his voice would kill you.
The story eventually makes its way to New Jersey where the battle to save creation begins. Against Loki's
protests, Bartleby who is usually the level headed one goes wild since he knows that the other angels are
coming to stop him. He with the help of Loki massacre anyone in their path. It is a pretty gruesome sight,
blood and body parts everywhere. Bethany realizes that the only way to stop them is to find God who is
being held somewhere nearby. Alanis Morissette plays God as a spacy spirit who does not talk but just
smiles. Okay that is enough from the movie, we have to leave something for you to discover for yourself.DOGMA is one of those films that you will absolutely hate or love. It will offend lots of people but it will make lots of others laugh. Being a good Catholic I should be offended. Nope not me, I enjoyed it, silliness and all. Try not to take it to serious and you may enjoy it as well.
Starring: Ben Affleck , Matt Damon , Linda Fiorentino , Salma Hayek, George Carlin, Alan Rickman, Bud Cort, Alanis Morissette and Jason Mewes Directed by Kevin Smith Written by Kevin Smith Produced by Scott Mosier Distributed by Lions Gate Films Rating USA... Rated R for strong language including sex-related dialogue, violence, crude humor and some drug content. Rating Canada... R for excessive violence, decapitation, language and may offend religious beliefs  Read Another Review Of This Film Read Still Another Review Of This Film |
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vjm@metrocity.com
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